Many times when I ask couples during a consultation if they want to write their own vows I get that deer in a headlight look on at least one if not both faces.
If you think about what vows actually are meant to be its not that scary. When you were first in love with each other and contemplating living together you thought all those wonderful thoughts that if you think about them again would make perfect vows.
Picture this: You are facing the one you love, holding their hands, looking into eyes that you are sure are sending love to you. What is it that you love about this person? How do you treat this person right now and are you willing to treat them the same tomorrow? Are you willing to take care of them if they needed something or were sick?
Vows are not your life story. They are about the present moment, how you feel toward this person you’re going to spend many hours, days and years with. If you want your new life together to be happy, emphasize the positive and forget about the negative.
Still not getting any words or sentences popping up? Let me give you a few more suggestions. You may get an idea to jump start your creative process. Here are a few vows others have used….
1) Before these witnesses I, _____________, vow to love you, __________, and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.
2) I love you ______ with all my heart and soul, as you are everything that I could ever hope to find in a woman/man. You are loving, thoughtful, caring, smart, and beautiful/handsome in my eyes and your love always makes me feel like the happiest and luckiest man/woman alive. I am proud to have you as my life's partner and I promise that I will always be at your side, through good and bad, and give you everything that is in my power to grant to assure your health and happiness for as long as I live. I am yours forever.
3) Today I will marry my friend, the one I will live with, dream with, and love. I, ____________, take you, __________, to be my husband/wife. From this day forward I will cherish you. I will look with joy down the path of our tomorrows knowing we will walk it together side by side, hand in hand and heart to heart.
4) I, __________, promise to love you, ___________, above all others and to value your friendship as a precious gift. I look forward to raising our family and building our relationship under the care and guidance of God. I promise to stand beside you in sickness or health, in times of prosper and decline, in peace and in turmoil, as long as we both shall live.
5) Celtic wedding vow:
I pledge my love to you, and everything that I own. I promise you the first bite of my meat and the first sip from my cup. I pledge that your name will always be the name I cry aloud in the dead of night. I promise to honor you above all others. Our love is never-ending, and we will remain, forevermore, equals in our marriage. This is my wedding vow to you.
6) Irish wedding vow said by bride and groom together:
We swear by peace and love to stand,
Heart to heart and hand to hand.
Mark, O Spirit, and hear us not,
Confirming this our Sacred Vow.
7) Traditional wedding vows:
I, _________, take thee, ________, for my lawful wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.
You may find a smidge of inspiration in reading these plus there are more online. Just remember – they are YOUR vows, they don’t have to be the same as your mate’s. Speak the words in your heart and your vows will be perfect.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
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